Tom Kelley

When fight or flight doesn’t seem right

The fight or flight response.  It comes into play when we are faced with a dangerous situation that needs our instinctual wits to help us to safety. Humans have chosen the correct choice enough times in our evolution to keep the species growing and thriving.  OK.  That’s great.  So what’s the problem? The problem comes in when we are triggered… Read more →

The Art of Taking Up and Not Taking Up Space

Have uncovered an interesting concept with my clients lately: Taking up space in a personal interaction leads to diminished connection and joy. Taking up space in our life leads to increased connection and fulfillment. In conversation, whether it’s a sales conversation or a talk with your wife, leaving the space between you open naturally produces better outcomes.  Asking questions and… Read more →

“There’s No Crying in Baseball” Is No Longer

An amazing drama unfolded at Citi Field last night. In the NY Mets crucial game against the rival Nationals, Wilmer Flores the NY Mets shortstop got a standing ovation every time he came up to bat. What was behind this out pouring of love given to a light hitting shortstop by 40,000 plus NY baseball fans? Two nights earlier Flores… Read more →

A Case for Mentorship

Society would be completely transformed if every man over 30 years old were to mentor another man. First lets define some terms.  Role model vs. mentor. Years ago, Charles Barkley famously declared that he didn’t want to be considered a role model.  As a young man he would get into hot water for spitting on fans and throwing tantrums and… Read more →

Happiness is Love. Full Stop.

What Makes Men Happy & Healthy? 75-Year Study Provides New Insights What factors in life contribute the most to male health, happiness, and flourishing? What are the most harmful? An ongoing Harvard study initiated way back in 1938 provides wonderful insights. What Promotes or Hinders Flourishing in the Lives of Men? In 1938, Harvard researchers initiated a unique study involving… Read more →

The Urge to Live

I met Stuart Scott briefly at Magnolia Bakery in Manhattan getting cupcakes several years ago.  I was a fan of his work at ESPN so it was cool to run into him and feel some of that upbeat charisma that came across on TV. He died yesterday.  He was 49.  Sad and disheartening for someone who brought so much joy… Read more →

Halloween Maskulinity

This is our Halloween themed blog post.  Maskulinity.  Isn’t that how it should be spelled.  Isn’t the prevailing cultural myth of a man mostly about the mask that he wears?  We have the ultra financially successful manhood of Mitt Romney or Jack Welch.  The first a Potemkin man of charismatic emptiness and the latter a caricature of scowling condescension. We… Read more →